Full Surround

it was our first weekend in the healthy lifestyle change and we had our usual breakfast before going to church. midweek last week, i was already thinking (dreading) ... how will our weekend go?

we'd usually spend sundays skipping breakfast in preparation for the treat we were going to give ourselves after church - a hearty lunch complete from apps to dessert, a quick stroll in the mall, a movie probably (with my favorite f4 popcorn or sour cream and chives tofu chips), another hearty merienda, and food to take home (usually bread) for my favorite sunday afternoon shows.

after church, we decided to go to kenny rogers, the only one we remember to have healthy options. we parked on the other end of the mall kasi the part directly below the resto was already full. eto na.....dinaanan namin ang mga sari-saring litrato at amoy ng mga pagkain! the sound of cutlery and chewing was in full surround and the smells stuck to our hair. what went on in my brain was, "that's what i used to eat. and that. and that. and that. oh! and that!"...

for the first time, i didn't feel sorry for myself, and this is the first time i have ever declared that in all honesty. it's true pala what has been said na it's the changing of one's mind, one's way of thinking, that really creates change. i know why i eat what i eat now.

ang isa pang importanteng first time sakin, i was not resentful of the families (kain nang kain may tinatago namang away), the mag-syotas (lilipas din 'yan), the fellow obese (hala sige.. tapos wag ka magpa check-up ha), and the young skinnies (pagtanda mo sisingilin ka nyang nilalafang mong pagkalaki laking hamborjer), who were happily eating - associated sa happiness talaga ang pagkain lalo na sa ating mga Pinoy. we live to eat. okasyon talaga sa atin ang pag-kain.

at kenny rogers, we made sure to look at the menu prior to entering. we ordered the lo-calorie meal, just one order of grilled fish. "low salt please, and don't include the rice". we also ordered the roasted chicken salad, "dressing on the side please". we took out our skyflakes oat and removed the other vegetables and cheese from our meal. for dessert, one can of pepsi light each.

we enjoyed the meal! i didn't have to sacrifice thinking na i had to eat that way because i wanted to lose weight - nasarapan ako talaga! i guess the eating plan takes care of my taste buds and cravings as well.

our gimik after lunch was the Hub getting our next week's stash in the grocery store. i would usually hang around bread talk or some other food shop to nibble (haha nibble daw o) or i would join him and put many feel-good goodies in the cart. but last sunday, i went to the appliance center and the hardware store :) i was smiling all the way and i knew so because people were smiling back.

on our way home, i saw more evidences na matindi talaga ang ikot ng buhay na may pagkain. posters, streamers, billboards of food everywhere! ngiti uli ako :)

i thought victory was mine until we arrived home. my favorite shows were on and my associations were causing me to literally drool! my chips! my hopia! my cakes and bread! i can't watch these shows without them!

but .... i did :) the cravings were there, but i didn't give in :) i guess this is where will power set in. top of mind was the week i spent in the sacrifice, i didn't want to go back to square one. ang galing talaga ni God mag orchestrate ng mga pangyayari!

lessons learned : the cravings will stay talaga, and one will be surrounded by ways to give in. if feeling weak, don't surround nalang yourself with tempty treats. although mababawasan ang cravings, babalik at babalik ang longing kasi nga to most like me, associated ang food with happiness and occasions. and yes, pray pray pray. the One who, with just a snap of a finger created the universe, can take your hand through everything.

our journey now is to eat to live, not live to eat. to be happy with more things in life other than food. to associate life with may other things than eating. to enjoy moments with loved ones with less portions of food, or with just 500mL of diet soda and 180grams of fruit :)

we look forward to the time when we've reached our ideal weight and will be able to eat the food we want - with the right portions and with full exercise.