Congratulations for your achievements beyond weight loss, Eboy.
Probably, like me, humor has been your cushion for the demeaning looks, insults, snickers, discrimination, unacceptance, and rejections in your life. Probably, like me, you have had to struggle to turn your back to violence so you may get back at those who have less in life but feel licensed to hurl insults at you just because you are fat. Like me, you may have had to cry alone, making sure no one was looking, so that self-pity will not pile above the insecurity that you already have.
Madalas mo din bang marinig sa mga family reunions ang "O, ano'ng nangyari sa yo? Napabayaan ka ba sa kusina?" ? Nag aral ka rin bang mabuti para masagot mo sila ng "At least may laman ang kusina namin!" ? Tuwing may long lost friend ka bang nagtatanong na "O, kumusta na weight mo?", sinasagot mo ba siya na "Eto, name maintain ko naman..." para magtawanan nalang kayo kasi mataba ka parin? Kunwari nalang ba hindi mo naririnig yung mga tawanan ng driver ng jeep, o hindi mo nalang pinapansin na nagpapalipat lipat ka ng tricycle kasi tinatanggihan ka sa pila? Do you make "fat" jokes para maunahan mo nalang yung mga alam mong gusto nang pansinin at husgahan ang kakaiba mong hitchura?
Hindi ako sang-ayon sa analysis ng mga kasamahan mo sa BLPE that whenever you joke around, you are not taking weight loss and the camp seriously. Siguradong mahal ka nila, pero sa tingin ko, hindi nila alam na humor has been a coping device, and without it, vengeance may have been your staple. Siguro pala-away tayo kung hindi tayo marunong tumawa at magpatawa. Siguro naging mapang-husga na tayo sa lahat ng mga taong mababa ang tingin sa matataba.
Kitang-kita sa iyo, that the love of God has made you confident. That you remember that He looks at the heart and not what is immediately visible to the human eye. You have the Holy Spirit indwelling in you, because you have come to love yourself despite your circumstances. I know that God will continue to use the charm, wit, and sense of humor that He gave you, so that you may look at the world in His eyes, and you may look at yourself in His love.
Eboy, bilas kong hilaw, sabay nating ipagdasal ang addiction natin sa pagkain. God can lift this from us so He may use us for His purposes. In the meantime, let us keep taking life seriously - with laughter.
Mabuhay ka!
